I was in my early 20s when my boss tried to hand me an unprofessional letter. One of my coworkers had an affair with another coworker’s husband and the husband left his wife for the mistress. The heartbroken coworker wrote a letter that she wanted to put up in the store about what the other girl had done. Clearly written from a place of the heartbreak she was in, but my boss told me she couldn’t put it up due to store policy, but offered it to me to read. In fact, she had given it to every coworker to read, but I refused. Until this point, I hadn’t even known about this situation, and I told her it was none of my business and I would not participate in the office gossip. On the next week’s schedule I went from my usual 40 hours, in management, down to 4. I questioned and was told there were cutbacks despite only my hours being cut. A slap in my face at choosing my integrity over work gossip. It wasn’t long after becoming a target for that boss when a customer came into the store. As I was helping her, she was so happy with my customer service and work ethic, she asked me to come work at her store. I ended up getting paid more and building more experience through other job opportunities there. And as an added bonus, there was more integrity with how that company was managed.

I was a teacher on mat leave when a teacher strike happened. The government decided to give parents impacted by the strike some money instead of properly funding the schools and teachers. An important strategic move of getting the parents on the government side while teachers lost wages defending student rights. I couldn’t in good conscience keep that money, knowing it was coming from the pockets of teachers fighting for their students’ rights. Because my pay wasn’t impacted by the strike with my maternity leave, I gave the money to my son’s teacher. I told her that half was to cover her lost wages and the other half to be used on field trips for the kids. When the strike ended the kids got some extra fun field trips to finish out their year. I won $1000 the next week on a lottery ticket – the exact amount I had given to the teacher.

When I broke up with my ex boyfriend for cheating, I closed the door completely. When the other girls went after him online, posting about him, messaging him about what he did, and so on, I stayed silent to move myself forward from the drama. I knew no amount of me trying to understand and get answers for his choices would heal the situation. Because the others allowed their rightful anger as a catalyst for attacks against him, they all had images leaked and slanderous comments put online. Some suffered continual harassment and he broke anything of theirs that he still had. Meanwhile, I had my stuff returned in the mail, nothing published or written about me online, and received an apology email.

In each of these cases, and many others, I made the choice to be true to my integrity and take the high road. I have had so many opportunities to destroy someone’s name or participate in drama, but that’s not who I am. That’s not to say my brain doesn’t sometimes think of ways I could hurt someone for hurting me, but I consider those healing thoughts and not actions of healing. It is not always easy to take the highroad when you have been incredibly hurt or let down by someone or they are creating fictitious stories about you, but there is power in not dropping down to their level. The highroad has served me well over my life and usually good things seem to happen soon after something awful when I don’t stoop to the level of another. And you never know, by choosing to take that highroad while others choose a path that works for them, you can end up with positive outcomes you weren’t expecting.